If Practice Feels Bad, People Stop Coming Back

If Practice Feels Bad, People Stop Coming Back

Brief Answer

Unpleasant experiences on the court—shame, boredom, feeling like a failure—kill the habit of playing tennis much more effectively than a lack of medals or trophies. The brain quickly learns to avoid what causes discomfort, even if the person is initially highly motivated. Therefore, retention in a tennis school is not only about progress and technique but also about how the session feels physically and emotionally. It is important that the training leaves a feeling of “I succeeded,” not “I am a failure.”

Why This Topic Matters

Often, parents and adults who start or return to sports face the challenge that initial sessions leave a negative impression. This can be shame after mistakes in front of the coach and others, boredom from endless repetitions without meaningful variety, or excessive physical load that “breaks” the body and spirit early on.

As a result, the person doesn’t say outright, “I don’t like tennis,” but quietly stops coming, inventing “busy schedules” or other excuses. In reality, the brain remembers these negative impressions and builds a protective reaction—avoiding the court to prevent repeating unpleasant experiences.

Understanding how mood and bodily sensations after training influence the desire to return helps select the right training format and support motivation.

Coach’s Explanation

#### Ending the Session as an Anchor for Return

The coach deliberately shapes the end of each lesson so the student leaves feeling “I succeeded.” This is done by using a short series of exercises with a high chance of success—for example, simple serves or shots where the student reliably hits the target. This matters because the last experience on the court stays in memory and affects the desire to come back.

The coach also verbally highlights at least one specific achievement of each student. This doesn’t mean praising everything indiscriminately but showing that progress exists and is noticeable. At the same time, public analysis of every mistake is avoided as it can cause shame and reinforce negative feelings.

#### Balancing Difficulty: Challenging but Manageable

The coach adjusts the load so it is difficult but manageable. If technique starts to break down, the coach slows the pace, shortens complex blocks to avoid “breaking” fatigue and disappointment. The load should be educational, not destructive.

#### Role of Play and Changing Formats

Play and format changes help maintain active attention without turning the lesson into a show. For example, after a tough technical block, a short game element is introduced—such as a light rally to a score or a change of task. This helps shift focus, prevents boredom, and keeps interest alive.

#### How Parents Can Avoid Increasing Shame After a “Bad” Day

It is very important that parents do not amplify negativity after a difficult lesson. In the car after training, naming one thing that went well and avoiding a full review of the lesson is recommended. Excessive criticism and repeated discussion of mistakes at home only reinforce shame and reluctance to return.

If a child or adult had a tough day, they can ask the coach for a gentler end to the session—an experienced coach will always adapt.

What It Looks Like in Training

At the courts near Slovenska plaza and hotel Aleksandar in Budva, first sessions often follow a calm format to avoid turning the court into a failure exam.

Example:

• The lesson starts with warm-up and simple shots.
• After a tough technical block, the coach offers a light game rally—e.g., playing to a score of 5—to shift attention and provide enjoyment.
• Before finishing, the coach reduces difficulty and offers a series of 5-7 shots where the student hits more often.
• The coach verbally notes one specific success—even if it’s just hitting the target.
• The session ends on a positive note without analyzing errors that might cause shame.

This approach helps students leave the court feeling “I succeeded, I have room to grow,” not “I’m a failure again.”

Common Mistakes

• Pushing the student to failure “to build character” actually breaks motivation.
• Publicly analyzing every mistake, causing shame and fear of making errors again.
• Comparing the child to others on adjacent courts or other students, increasing feelings of failure.
• Reinforcing shame at home with phrases like “you played like that again” or “why not better?” which solidify negativity.
• Expecting every session to be easy and fun—unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment and kill motivation.

What to Do Now

• After training, name at least one success and let go of error analysis.
• If the day was tough, ask the coach for a gentler session ending—this is a normal request.
• Calmly try a training format with measured load, activity changes, and play.
• Sign up for a gentle start at TS WINNER tennis school in Budva via @TSWinnerbot—to avoid exam stress and begin smoothly.

Key Takeaways

• Unpleasant court experiences deter more than lack of medals.
• The session’s end should leave a feeling of “I succeeded.”
• Difficulty must be balanced: challenging but manageable.
• Play and format changes are important retention tools without turning lessons into shows.
• Parents should avoid increasing shame after a “bad” day and support the child with one specific success.

A Gentle Next Step

If you or your child have left sports before due to shame, boredom, or overwhelming load, we invite you to start gently and calmly. At TS WINNER courts near Slovenska plaza and hotel Aleksandar in Budva, we offer a format of first sessions that respect your rhythm and mood—without pressure or exams.

To sign up for this gentle start or simply get advice, write to @TSWinnerbot. Take the next step supported by live contact with a coach—without fear or shame.

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Nataliia Nemsadze

Sport psychologist at TS WINNER tennis school · licensed coach (ATP · TSS · TSCG)